- Anonymous:

What's wrong? :/


Old memories and feelings are coming back, really clear. 


Oh God. I don’t want to talk about that. But, it keeps playing. It won’t go away and I thought it would. And I can’t- I’m so bad. I swear to god I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I swear… I’m so fucking disgusting. It was all my fault.

Brain: Okay. Apple, half of an avocado, egg, two pieces of bread.
Some stupid part in my brain: Are you really getting all of that???
Brain: Bitch I might be.
Some stupid part in my brain: Don't, you're going to get fat.
Brain: Would you shut the fuck up. I'm eating.
Some stupid part in my brain: But that's a lot of food. That's gross.
Brain: No, it's not. Food isn't bad. I need it to function. Shut up.
Some stupid part in my brain: But that's-
Brain: Bitch, I said shut up.

Followers,

Go have an awesome day.

DAY 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

idek because I’ve only NOW stopped growing. So, I couldn’t give you an accurate weight. But, why did I gain?

- MASSIVE portions

- ZERO awareness of food content

- Unconscious emotional eating

I don’t even know how I did that. — It’s literally impossible for me not to think about what I put in my body now. :| 

DAY 21: What are your clothing sizes?

So, Moira sat next to me at the end of the session and put her arms around me… She rubbed my head when she was telling me I was good and it made me feel little again… I felt clean and good. I felt protected and loved. I felt like a little kid, completely protected from anything and everything.

… I want that again.

It scares me how much I trust her.

Being able to put my palms on the floor without a problem is a really weird feeling, considering there was a point and time when I couldn’t touch my toes… at all.