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- Anonymous:

What's wrong? :/


Old memories and feelings are coming back, really clear. 
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Oh God. I don’t want to talk about that. But, it keeps playing. It won’t go away and I thought it would. And I can’t- I’m so bad. I swear to god I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I swear… I’m so fucking disgusting. It was all my fault.
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Brain: Okay. Apple, half of an avocado, egg, two pieces of bread.
Some stupid part in my brain: Are you really getting all of that???
Brain: Bitch I might be.
Some stupid part in my brain: Don't, you're going to get fat.
Brain: Would you shut the fuck up. I'm eating.
Some stupid part in my brain: But that's a lot of food. That's gross.
Brain: No, it's not. Food isn't bad. I need it to function. Shut up.
Some stupid part in my brain: But that's-
Brain: Bitch, I said shut up.
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Followers,

Go have an awesome day.
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DAY 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

idek because I’ve only NOW stopped growing. So, I couldn’t give you an accurate weight. But, why did I gain?

- MASSIVE portions

- ZERO awareness of food content

- Unconscious emotional eating

I don’t even know how I did that. — It’s literally impossible for me not to think about what I put in my body now. :| 

DAY 21: What are your clothing sizes?
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So, Moira sat next to me at the end of the session and put her arms around me… She rubbed my head when she was telling me I was good and it made me feel little again… I felt clean and good. I felt protected and loved. I felt like a little kid, completely protected from anything and everything.

… I want that again.

It scares me how much I trust her.
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Being able to put my palms on the floor without a problem is a really weird feeling, considering there was a point and time when I couldn’t touch my toes… at all.